


Vow of Silence

by lesbianpapyrus



Series: Undertale LGBT Pride Month [9]
Category: Undertale (Video Game)
Genre: Free Verse, M/M, Poetry, Romance, lgbt pride month
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-09
Updated: 2017-06-09
Packaged: 2018-11-12 04:23:44
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 451
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11154171
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lesbianpapyrus/pseuds/lesbianpapyrus
Summary: One of the Royal Guards is torn over his love for the other.#9 of a series of Undertale ship drabbles for LGBT Pride Month.





	Vow of Silence

What’s it like to be in love?

Confusing.  
Nerve-wracking.  
Excruciating.

And yet.

Nothing has ever been so clear.  
Nothing has ever made me feel so brave.  
Nothing has ever healed me more,

than knowing that I love him.

I wish he knew.

I wish I could tell him.

But each time I come close,  
every chance I have,  
fear closes over my mouth  
like a vise.

Would he accept me?

Would anyone else approve?

He and I,  
we are “bros.”  
Friends.  
Partners.  
Duty-bound to protect  
the kingdom.

I feel duty-bound  
to protect him too.

Does he feel the same?  
Could we become more?

Or is all of this just a sick dream?

Am I wrong to feel this way?

My head says “maybe.”

But my heart says “no.”

Each time I think of him,  
my heart soars.  
Each time I see him,  
I can’t look away.  
Each time he speaks to me,  
my soul pounds with passion.  
And each time we part,  
I feel empty inside.

My heart begs to tell him.  
My mind struggles to find the words.  
My soul searches for all my courage.

I would climb a thousand mountains,  
I would battle a thousand humans,  
I would die a thousand deaths,  
if it would make him happy,  
if it would save his life,  
if it would tell him I loved him,  
if he would love me too.

“I would die a thousand deaths.”  
And yet I cannot speak.  
I cannot say anything.  
I cannot declare those three little words  
that would make all known.

Am I forever bound to keep  
this vow of silence I never took?

Will these promises remain  
at the back of my throat,  
eternally thought,  
and ever unspoken?

Will my love linger within me  
until the end of time?

Or will I someday  
break the silence,  
shatter the glass,  
tear away the veil  
that lies between us?

Will I someday  
stand up to fear,  
say “no more,”  
reach out and clasp the hand  
of my beloved?

Will I someday  
kneel down,  
look into his eyes,  
ask him,  
“be mine,  
and let me be yours?”

Perhaps someday.

But not this day.

Today, I will look at him.

Today, I will listen.

Today, I will smile  
and be happy  
just knowing that he is alive,  
that he is with me,  
that he loves me,  
though it is not as I wish.

I will let my heart burn just a little longer.

I will let my soul yearn just a bit more.

I will let my mind stay trapped in this prison  
until I am ready to set myself free.

Until I can say “I love you”  
and know that he will say  
“I love you, too.”

**Author's Note:**

> today's prompt was "Closet."
> 
> this poem turned out to be quite... personal. I tried to capture what it's like to be in love while you're stuck in the closet and for myself, at least, I succeeded. I actually cried a little as I finished writing.
> 
> it's a bit shorter than anything I've written so far, but it's also by far the most heartfelt.
> 
> please leave a comment if you liked it.


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